When they fail to achieve these goals they are filled with self-hate.
This invalidation by someone who is supposed to be safe and trustworthy often mirrors the gaslighting that was experienced in their family of origin," explained Collins.
If you have the misfortune of having been raised by one or more narcissists, chances are you've heard classics like these: "You're just too sensitive." "You need to learn to let things go." "When are you going to move on from the past?
" And the fauxpology "I'm sorry you feel I'm such a disappointment as a (fill in blank) mother." Invalidation, denial, and gaslighting (making you think you're crazy) are tried-and-true tools of the narcissist's trade, and if you grew up having the adults meant to love and nurture you use them against you you're probably especially vulnerable to such treatment as an adult.
Normally, those with healthy self-esteem are able to maintain positive feelings about themselves despite setbacks.
Individuals with BPD have difficulties regulating several, if not all, emotions.
As adults, BPD individuals adopt the characteristics of the invalidating environment in which they grow up.